Dalton "Doug" Welsh is a professional Canadian ice hockey winger in the Farm Games. He currently serves as the captain of the Milwaukee Pistons, his childhood favourite team. He is well known as the smallest bastard in the Farm Games, and is highly regarded for his gremlin-esque playstyle. Many throughout the league call him "The Farm Games Ghoul" or the "Goblin of Milwaukee". Dalton has scored many points, so much so that many women have sex with him because of how many points he has in the Farm Games.

Welsh is also known to eat plenty of stew provided by Chef Sneeze, such as the patented Piston Stew, which on many occasions has given Welsh severe gas. He is the leagues greatest "trickster" type player, a playstyle pioneered by the likes of Dook Bronshaw, Transon Stanwerther and Leronren Spadework. Welsh is also well known as a good baseball player and can do slam dunks in the basketball court, despite his small stature.

Dalton "Doug" Welsh visiting the big city. Always with a big smile on his face, due to his scheming and tricks.

Welsh ate his twin sister in the womb, the first sign of his goblin-like ways.