Stockton Bellrose, classic meatheaded dunce

Stockton "Beefcake" Bellrose was a professional Canadian ice hockey winger in the Farm Games league. Stockton was undrafted and joined the league in 1982. After playing 3 seasons in the Junior Farm Games with the Waterloo Bunts, he was picked up by the very new team, the Niagara Falls Chaps, as a discount player. He spent a few months in the shoe bin, but ended up proving himself a decent squeezer and throbber on the ice, scoring himself a pretty regular spot on the Chaps roster. Bellrose went on to have a hard and strong career, playing until 2003, when he was 41 years old. After leaving the Chaps, Bellrose played for the Cleveland Red Roosters, Houston Giants, and Milwaukee Pistons, winning three Denley Cups along the way (twice with Cleveland, once with Milwaukee).

Farm Games experts consistently agree that Bellrose is a classic proponent of the Wakkit-Socket Theorum, although he is a rare specimen in that he is one of very few Wakkit-Socket theorists to utilize the Wondu style variation (his peers include Desthony Welles, Delanor Butane, Cube Nelson and Brocci Stanwerther). His masterful use of the Wondu style Wakkit-Socket Theorum made him a deadly player on the ice, devilishly spewing on any and all competition. Bellrose was a meaty man, thick and spongy, which made him perfect for dry humping guys along the boards and stick-stunking into the blind spots at 450q, from wide to short angles, OR along the red line. Stockton scored 338 goals and 529 assists for 867 points over his career, with most of those goals coming from in the splinter zone, where Stockton would get greasy and greedy along the blue paint, five hole creampies and glove side miscarriages were the Bellrose special, if you treated him right that is!

Stockton is well remembered in Milwaukee, for his love of the stew, and in Cleveland for the big bear hugs he would give women on the streets. After his retirement, Stockton moved to Florida, where he lives to this day. He briefly pursued work in the Farm Games media circuit, becoming a regular commentator on shows like Let's Talk!: Farm Games and Spice Seat from 2011 until 2013, but he was dropped by the Farm Games Network after he fell asleep on air several times. He did advertising for a phone service called Phone Zap, but later sued them due to infraudment. He lost the case, and began advertising for their rival brand, QuikPhone. Bellrose is well known for being one of the dumbest Farm Games players of all time, as he is almost always drooling and has a head "…full of nothing but gizmos and doo-dad's, kid has no sense for business or things like clocks, cars, mechanical objects or sometimes doors…", according to his former coach Menken Semen. Nowadays, Bellrose hates cancel culture and liberal media, as he can often be seen going on long, painful screeds on Facebook. He is a devout libertarian and free thinker, and is currently writing a book about free market principles called "Live Free And Die". He has most recently appeared on Lev Gibbert's podcast, where he talked about COVID-19 conspiracies and the Great Replacement Theory for 3 and a half hours.