Kev Burgess, doing what is often called "a chilling"

Evan "Kev" Burgess is a professional ice hockey defenseman for the St. John's Mariners in the Farm Games. He is known around the league for being a hacker and gizmo wiz, being a master of trinkets and a master of puppets. Alongside Sean Thompson, Burgess is one half of the best defensive pairing in the Farm Games. He has won one Denley Cup as a member of the St. John's Mariners.

He is heralded as one of the greatest defensive defensemen in the Farm Games.

Kev was voted hottest Farm Games player two years in a row. In 2020, he was forced to have his foreskin removed by his wife, an event that greatly impacted his Farm Games career as his lack of foreskin affected his aerodynamics. Despite this, Kev has returned to full form and continues to play at the top level in the Farm Games. Kev is an outspoken ally of the gays, and a staunch pro-circ lifestyler. He is well known in dubstep and 8-bit remix circles as "The Punisher".

He has been accused of being Jewish on multiple occasions, but refuses to speak on the legitimacy of these claims.